I am a planner. I am a person that lives in a cycle of thinking about how bad things could go, then planning backward to prevent it. Maybe catastrophizing? I am a person that loves to account for things and build flow charts that show how those things work together, and all of the possible outcomes. I am a person that has a brain constantly thinking about what’s next. I am a person that can think on my feet and perform at the moment due to all of this brain processing power spent on what might come to be.
This has been a borderline superpower for me. I lean on it every day.
It was in my 30s that I started to see how much this was actually taking away from enjoying the moment.
‘Be in the moment.’
‘How does that even work?’
This was me questioning the article about meditation I was reading at the time. I was in my Mid-30s and dealing with some work-related stress and the anxiety that had been building because of it over time. In this article, the concept of rumination was broached and I had never considered the connection between long-term thinking and when this dwelling on what might happen in the future became rumination. Rumination leading to some anxiety was my main issue as I took on larger roles in my career. The larger the role, the more people, processes, and technology problems I faced.
Being in the moment was a challenge given my natural tendency to move on in my mind to what is next and process and plan the future asap. I found myself getting sucked into this mental trap of trying to forecast all of the possible issues that might occur next, and it became increasingly hard for me to do a few things:
- Focusing on the task at hand.
- Keep my brain from being stuck in ‘what if’ mode. What if someone does this or what if this happens?
- Feeling like I could disconnect from my work and be with my family.
Having trouble focusing on the task in the moment as I was constantly playing the what-if game trying to maintain my ability to stay ahead just sucked my brain into a vortex that almost consumed me.
How did I make it stop?
Well, after a pretty sharp bout of anxiety… Cue JB laying on his back, on the couch, looking at the ceiling, and taking deep breaths. I gave myself some space and read a few articles and then a couple of books. I worked my way backward, as I describe above, when I felt like I understood enough about the feelings and outcomes I was dealing with, I made some action steps.
Action Steps:
- Intentional focus on each day by making a short list of tasks I needed to “be in the moment”.
- Find a place to work on and learn to be in the moment vs ruminating.
- Each day, take a step back and write down the wins and make the “in the moment” list for tomorrow.
This simple process really helped me at the time. Helped me focus and get out of my own head and in the moments that mattered. This helped me focus on things as they are now, and now worry that they were not like I wanted them to be. Also, I had a mechanism to remind me to celebrate accomplishments. I was missing that in my career as I was solely focused on the next challenge after checking off the current box. Finding this as a way to incrementally make progress, note the wins, and see that I was moving to where I wanted to be was a breakthrough.
For the place to learn and work on being in the moment, and chose the app Headspace to help me learn and then practice this new skill of mindfulness and specifically being in the moment. This app has been a big part of changing my mental makeup and ability to process stress and anxiety, and being better at the moment-by-moment focus and appreciation I feel each day. The app breaks down each day into a series of optional tasks that take you on a journey in learning meditation as a tool or practice as the “pros” refer to it.
Coming from my 30s and now into my 40s… this decision to embrace mindfulness and learn about how the brain processes stress, the moment, and what I can do to be better at truly living in the moments changed the course of my career and life overall. I wish you the best on your journey and hope each moment is a treasure trove of smiles, wins, and lessons learned.
Jason A. Belt 