Jason A. Belt

In the post about having Discipline in Chaos, I referenced that we should “Trash the ego”. Let’s unpack what I meant by that. 

Having discipline in chaos, and the actual level of noise created by the chaos oftentimes brings out the worst of us. The demands and pressure hitting our brains can trigger the “fight or flight response” which is a survival instinct based upon fear. It is an animal instinct conditioned over 1000s of years. Knowing that, I often refer to these instincts as “animals” in my brain. 

Another animal is wanting to let loose inside our brains and it often finds its tastiest treats during times of stress.

Ego. 

In my experience, when I am under stress, fear of failure creeps in as the volume of demands mounts, then as this thinking is present, my ego starts to feed off of this thinking. This fear of failure is real, but it is what the fear is based on that I try to control. 

I will look bad if I fail. I will be seen as a failure. I will be seen as not capable. I will lose the trust of my leaders that believe in me. 

Notice the trend in those thoughts? 

“I” 

This fear of failure or losing status is all ego-driven. Sure, failing at anything is painful, but in my brain… Which is noisy… That failure is purely subjective given I also have a powerful mental driver inside called perfection. Wow, my brain is so noisy, I need a list… 

• Fear
• Failure
• Ego
• Perfection

So, looking at this list I can see one commonality: perception. 

Perception refers to the process through which individuals interpret and make sense of sensory information from the environment. So, in this perception exercise, my brain senses inputs from what is going on and then tells me a story, and then with the above 4 “animals” lurking inside, my brain is often skewed in its perception of what is actually happening. 

Ok, that is a lot to process and can be raw. What do I do in these times of stress when the animals lurking in my brain are running wild? 

• I take a breath and check reality. 
• I admit that this stress is my fault given I made the choice to work, do, play, or challenge myself with this ‘thing’. 
• I read books/blogs/watch videos by smarter people centered around the problem(s)
• I admit that my perception is skewed by the 4 animals above and that my desire for perfection, not “failing” and not being viewed as a person that lacks capability is driving this reaction. 
• I make a list of progress: What has my team accomplished? 
• Then, I focus on the teams’ growth… 

That ends up in me breathing and realizing that my team is growing and that my fear is all about me and I refocus on them. 

Then, as I discussed in the post “Discipline in Chaos” I get back to focusing on progress over perfection. 

There is a concept in Buddhism called the taming of the monkey mind. If I could characterize the 4 animals above into one, it would be that crazy monkey at the zoo all of us have seen that is screaming, throwing poop, and just wants anyone to pay attention to his story. I have been practicing meditation for a few years and overall what it helps me do is see through this fear/ego spiral and get back to reality. 

As a high achiever personality, I will always fight this (I/D on the DISC – woot!). As the years roll by, and I listen to mentors in person or through resources like books, blogs, and podcasts, I have grown thankful for this animal in my brain. Through the pain of taming this monkey, I find a better version of myself. Doing hard things is a choice and so is trashing the ego, listening to smart people, and seeing the world around you for what it REALLY is. 

Ripe with opportunities, lessons to learn, and people to share these lessons with each day. 

Now I feel like I need to pick a name for this monkey in my brain… perhaps… I will think about that and see what he tries to tell me the next time the heat is on and what that message tells me about myself. 

Do you have animals running wild in your brain?